CHANGES EVERYTHING
     
                          
                    We visit Jason all the time. However we drive to the cemetery
                     to see him. To see your child's name etched on a headstone
                     still feels like a punch in the stomach. His name should be 
                     on a diploma, a wedding invitation, a birth announcement, a 
                           business card - anything   BUT NOT A HEADSTONE                        



                                                 SILENT NIGHT, HOLY NIGHT
                                   THERE'S NO PRESENTS, HERE'S OUR TREE
                                               SILENT NIGHT, HOLY NIGHT
                                         JASON, PLEASE COME BACK TO ME

                 Others wrap presents and tell of gifts they gave, while we are searching for flowers
                                                                         to bring to Jason's grave 
             
                          

          Dear God:
          I know that Jason is home in heaven with you. I ask that you watch over him.
         Please send extra angels to help him adjust to being in heaven and away from
         us. We are all here and he is not. He is alone. He is young. He may need help.
        All I can do is pray. Is that enough? He did not want to leave us. With my 
        last breath I beg of you to take care of him. He was a good boy, a loving son 
        and a great brother. Please send me a sign from heaven so I know Jason is
        in your hands.
                                               Love, from his broken-hearted mom
                                              
                           MAY A THOUSAND ANGELS BE WATCHING OVER YOU 
                                                     
                                     I PRAY THAT YOU ARE WATCHING OVER US
                                                                   
             WE  WERE  BLESSED  YOU  WERE  OURS  IF  ONLY  FOR  A  WHILE
                                                                            
          Dear God,
      You sent a child to me
      To fill my life with joy,
      And only You knew which was best --
      A little girl or boy.
      Somehow I took for granted, Lord,
      That we would have a lifetime,
      And I made so many future plans
      For that precious child of mine.
      Enchanted by that Miracle,
      Caught up in each new day,
      I guess I didn't hear You, Lord,
      When You said, "This one can't stay."
      I trust You, Lord. Thy will; not mine,
      Yet I can't understand
      This sudden loss -- the emptiness --
      Caused by another's hand. 
      
      I know my child's an angel now
      But my heart is aching so.
      I'm sorry I wasn't ready, Lord,
      To let my Jason go.
      There wasn't time for one last hug;
      There was no final kiss.
      Oh God, it's all those special smiles
      That I already miss.
      So Lord, could you do just one thing
      For me especially?
      Please hold my angel close to You
      And say goodbye for me. Amen
              by Bonnielee Walsh c. 1995 
    
                                                                                                           
            As  I write this, I still cannot believe Jason is dead. I still cannot believe
            this is how his life turned out. No one can imagine when they first
            hold their newborn baby that this joyful moment would, down the
            road, lead into the worse possible  scenario: DEATH. Parents still
            worry about their children long after they are buried. The parent/           
            protector doesn't just end with the funeral.  Our  lives are 
            tied up in the what ifs and the whys and the constant thoughts
           of Jason's last moments alive, alone on the pavement that we
           are doing all we can to just survive day after day in this nightmare
           called, "our life". 
            
                             HOW CAN WE TELL YOU HOW MUCH WE MISS YOU?
                             HOW CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT YOU?
                             HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY SPEND THE REST OF OUR LIVES
                             MISSING WHAT WE HAVE LOST????
                             HOW CAN WE BREATHE, EXIST, GO ON 
                             WITHOUT OUR ONLY SON????

                     
  
         GOD BLESS YOU JASON. WE WILL LOVE YOU UNTIL THE DAY WE DIE.
                 BE AT PEACE MY SON. YOU WERE THE BEST.
  
                                                                     "   L A T E R      J  "
       
                                                               GONE TOO SOON...............

                        

                                   _{If we could have a lifetime wish
                                   A dream that would come true,
                                We'd pray to God with all our hearts 
                                        For yesterday and You.
                               A thousand words can't bring you back
                                     We know because we've tried... 
                                       either will a thousand tears
                                     we know because we've cried...
                                   You left behind our broken hearts
                                          And happy memories too...
                                    But we never wanted memories
                                           We only wanted You}